The Hollow Times

Surviving the Fight or Fighting to Survive

The Hollow Times

Sometimes I get the feeling like I'm just  worn a little too thin. I haven't even started two of my college assignments and they are due next week! I should be spending today doing them really but I haven't seen my family in weeks and I am going to take me and my son to see them. With what is likely to be happening tomorrow, I doubt I would be able to concentrate anyway so it will be a good way to let my hair down and try to forget about it for a little while.

I had a fun night last night, I got some henna done at the children's Halloween party and went trick or treating for the first time with my son. 

I wore the one of my new dresses and my corset. It felt good to get up and get ready after slobbing it this week in my PJ's. Feeling more like a doped up sloth that the Duracell bunny I wish I could be right now. 

You know sometimes, when you are feeling crappy and you pray every night that tomorrow might just be manic enough to get everything done? Bouncing around the house doing five things at once because you feel like a bad ass? Seems like my prayers aren't being heard at the moment.

Yesterday did help, really it did, but then when I got home and stopped, just long enough for the dark thoughts to start creeping to the front of my mind again, I just became this hollow entity, truly worthy of a Halloween Horror. Seriously, I could have stood there like that in the street, all hollow eyed and day dreamy, and scared the bejeebies out of some people.

I hope that I can get out of this rut soon. It gets tiring fighting every single day just to be able to do the little things. People don't see the war raging inside my head every waking second. The only solace I get is sleep and sometimes even that is snatched away from me by the lurking insomnia.

So I'm in it with you guys, all of you out there that are suffering, finding it almost impossible to move every day and trust me, if it wasn't for my commitments I would probably stay in this bed for a week, slowly disappearing under empty junk food wrappers, watching crappy day time telly until my I am nothing more than a waking zombie.

But I fight, and I strain to keep going, trying to remember that one of these days, I WILL turn into the Duracell bunny, so come on guys, Survive the Fight and Fight to Survive!