Surviving the Fight VS. Fighting to Survive

Surviving the Fight or Fighting to Survive

What is this blog going to be about?

You know those people who tell you about their lives and you think "Wow, either they are a compulsive liar, or they have had one hell of a s**t life."? Well, I'm one of those very people.

Sometimes I think that I was born as some cruel experiment. Other times I wonder if I am meant to be alive for some unknown reason that I am yet to fulfil. Even when I was born, at ten weeks early, I was lucky to survive. The doctors said either my Mom or I were going to be lost and my Dad had to make the decision on who to doctors were going to keep alive. We never found out who he chose, I guess he would be a bad guy either way. Either letting his daughter or the Mother of four children die.

That's me as a baby, and that was after I was aloud home. Slowly, I will tell you all of the ups and downs of my life, or what I can remember of it anyway.

And this is me now, as flawed as the next person, but fighting every day. Most of those fights are on the inside. Inside that little head of mine, the head which I'm sure you will all start to see into.

I don't expect to get 1,000,000 readers, I don't even expect to get 20, but if even one person reads my blogs and starts to feel less lonely in this world, then I will be a happy blogger. For I just want people to better understand those troubled souls out there and I want other people like me; people who have suffered endlessly at other peoples hands to realise that they are survivors. 

I have been recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and for the many of you that don't know what this means, then please visit mind(www.mind.org) and just read a little bit. It's easy to understand. It's an erratic alteration of moods essentially but when you look into it, there are many in built characteristics and reactions to social situations that come with it.

Another few things to know about me are that I am a hobbyist, an artist, a singer, a reader, an ex- self harmer,(appart from a few falls). I suffer with body image, confidence, anxiety, depression, mania, insomnia, and much much more. On the outside I seem outgoing and extroverted,so many people don't realise the suffering that goes on inside that little head of mine. 

So that is the reason for this blog, to help people, to bring recognition, as a stress relief, as one of my many hobbies, to make people realise that what is on the outside, isn't necessarily on the inside. I love to write but I'm not sure what to expect out of this, what sort of response to prepare myself for. I just want people like me to read this, those others that Survive the Fight, and Fight to Survive.